The Tipsy Testament Podcast

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Ep 25 - Why were there 10 Plagues on Egypt??

Have you been waiting with bated breath for more stories about Moses and his weird, magical adventures!?  Well, you’re in luck!  This is part two where the Tipsy Crew talks about the plagues of Egypt.  God was kind of a dick, huh?  But, according to Veronica, he wasn’t even a very effective dick cause his plagues apparently sucked.  Gasp in awe (and disgust) as Veronica details the horrible, horrible plagues she’d inflict if she were God.  Let’s be glad that she doesn’t have divine powers…

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Ep 24 - Why was Moses raised by the Egyptians?

Awwww yeeeaaaaah! After a long hiatus, the Tipsy Crew is finally getting around to covering Moses, one of the most major players in The Bible and a certified adopted river baby!  You may think you know him but did you know he was an expert at uncircumcised fellatio?  Probably not, idiot!  We cover the very beginning of his journey all the way up to that time God decided that temporary leprosy and snake-sticks were a good way to convince Moses to challenge the Pharaoh.  This one’s gonna be a multi-parter so stay tuned for the whole story. We also discuss some things our fans have sent in!  

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Ep 23 - Did Jesus always put Parable Mustard on his Sandwiches?

 Get ready for another heaping helping of parables from our old buddy Jesus!  Jesus sure does talk a lot about mustard seeds, huh?  Not as much as Veronica likes to regale the Tipsy Crew with songs she barely remembers.  You know, like the popular hit song “Buck The Knuck”?  Also: we realize that Jesus was just saying pretty much the same thing in different ways cause he was kinda out of ideas.  At any rate, this is the episode for you if you wanna hear about yeast-plumped vaginas.  Don’t ask.  Just listen. 

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Ep 22 - Why Did Jesus Speak in Parables?

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Oh yeah, Tipsy Disciples!  In this episode, we’re bringing back our boy Jesus or, as the Tipsy crew decides to call him, Daddy Jesus.  And don’t worry, the episode only gets sexier from there!  We cover a few of Jesus’s very didactic but also sometimes pretty good parables but not before Jonte is forced to watch a trailer to a weird and seemingly blasphemous video game that pits the world’s deities against each other in what looks to be a series of death matches!  Also: this is the official divorce episode for Alex and V since Alex confesses that he exclusively gets chicken tenders from Burger King.  I know, I know.  We’re all very disappointed.

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Ep. 21 - Did Joseph Write His Chapter Himself??

In this week's episode, we continue with the exploits of Joseph, the guy who used to own a Dreamcoat. Veronica grows increasingly skeptical of the validity of this story while also growing more pretentious about her wine selections. Alex and Jonte sing quite a bit in this one folks....

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Ep 20 - Joseph and his Obnoxious Gaudy Dreamcoat

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Have you ever wanted to hear a Bible story about an insufferable snitch wearing a very cool jacket?  Well, have we got the story for you!  This is part one of Joseph and his coat of many colors/long sleeves/stripes/Member's Only jacket.  We learn that being the favorite son of your father is tough since your brothers will undoubtedly want to kill you!  Also: more dreams!  This time of the narcissistic variety!  We also learn that Alex is an unrepentant Lothario while a particularly wealthy and sinister spider menaces Veronica from afar!  Hooray!

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Ep 19 - King David, The Peeping Tom

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This week's episode features everybody's favorite rock-throwing hero, David! After slaying the Goliath, ripping off foreskins, and marrying into royalty, Kind David decides his next great feat will be spying on women bathing from the roof of the palace! Since being a hero wasn't enough for him, he decides to add rapist and bungling idiot to his resume. Listen as we discuss how horrifying God's punishments are and the logic behind people picking and choosing stories to believe from the bible. Veronica also decides to write her own version of the bible and this is also Alex's birthday episode!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALEX!  

 

Music - Nangdo

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Ep 18 - Book of Esther should be called Nasty Vashti, Haman’s vengeance, and the fashion makeover

In this episode, the guys try to convince Veronica that the Book of Esther is a feminist story but all Veronica wants to discuss is Alex's spank bank. 

Music - Ryan Little 

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Ep 17- Jacob, Rachel, and Melty-Eyes Leah

Remember Jacob?  Well, we've got more of his trickery and exploits on this episode!  Listen as Jacob suddenly finds himself in a The Bachelor style situation with two women (who are also his cousins, ewww) competing for his affection.  But that's not all!  Jacob winds up with a whole flock of speckled sheep because he's a no-account grifter and loves taking advantage of folks!  Our hero!  Don't worry, he definitely gets his comeuppance by getting wrecked in a wrestling match with an angel, or was it, God?  Who knows!?  

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Ep 16 - Brothers at war: One is a human bear and the other has a goat fetish!

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This episode is a rare treat folks! Veronica is SOBER. Is she still as ridiculous as she is when she is drunk? How is she surviving without wine?! The Tipsy crew dives head first into the Jacob and Esau story in this episode. Why is a man wearing a goat onesie? How did blessings become a scarce commodity? Listen and find out!

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